Men's Health Diary

Now that our #MHTeamFit Challenge is officially over, I really hope that everyone keeps up with their training.

Well not everyone, because I couldn't care less if Ian stops collecting marathon medals and Azeez shrinks back to flyweight and Hishaam stops coming by my desk every other morning with some sort of sparring story...

Who I do care about is my boss, Jason.

When I first started working at Men's Health I had the de rigueur three-month probation period and therefore had to start each day by placing an apple on Jason's desk. And because Jason loves his job he was always the first person in the office, meaning that I had to get in even earlier to drop off that apple.

Then he started working out and working office hours.

Which makes things easier for the rest of us. Especially when you've missed a deadline and you side-track him by asking about pull-up technique or advice on protein shakes.

Even better is that he's now roped in the other power-player - Creative Director, Robert.

Now Jason and Rob were never in the running to star in a local version of Horrible Bosses, but the psychology states that if your boss is exercising regularly it makes for a more pleasant working environment.

Researchers interviewed 98 employees and their respective bosses, whereby employees were asked to rate their boss's supervision for abusive behavior and bosses were asked to rate their own stress level and report how much exercise they got. As the level of a boss's self-reported stress rose so did employee-rated abusive supervision. But stressed bosses who reported doing even a moderate amount of physical activity were less likely to be seen as abusive by their subordinates.

So the road to a happier life is simple - do a quick whip-round and buy your boss a gym-contract already.

Forgive me team, it's been a while.

I broke my own rule of a weekly update, but I have a really, really good excuse... I was in the gym. Well, it felt like it anyway.

So, 12 weeks down and with our retest and "after" pics complete and results pending, it seems there shouldn't be much to say. Did I reach my goals? In a word, yes. The details of which I'll leave to the report back feature in the July issue.

It's been quite a journey and to be honest I feel a little sad it's over. The Staff Challenge was one hellova way to kickstart a fitness programme. I haven't been more motivated, amped and passionate about getting fit since making the 2nd XV in 1987. Ja, that long.

No doubt the Women's Health and Runner's World teams that sit within earshot of us are relieved to know the kilojoule-counting and pull-up comparisons are officially over. But from the amazing results and team spirit built up over the last three months, I suspect it's only the beginning. Well, for me anyway.

Something happened during the Staff Challenge... I forgot I was doing it and just went to gym every morning. It became part of my routine and has continued to be so. I guess that's the whole idea, I hear you say, but how many workouts have started with good intentions but fallen by the wayside after the final whistle?

I entered the challenge with the goal of finding a gym and a training method that I'd want to continue with well after it was all over. So besides the weight lost and strength gained, I feel the biggest achievement for me has been getting into a routine that is a realistic and enjoyable part of my lifestyle.

I've been getting my butt kicked for 12 weeks and I didn't expect an easy workout, but jeez it's been fun. Shouldn't all exercise be that way? Of course I had some injury niggles, a few weeks off for business travel, one or two diet slip-ups and more than a couple of bad workout days, but nothing to put me off.

Key to my enjoyment has been the camaraderie and work ethic at Roark Gyms. Walking into gym just before 7am I feel like Norm as he entered Cheers bar, except I'm pulling in for squats, not shots. If you're not enjoying gym or seeing results in 12 weeks, something's wrong. It's your time and your money, find an activity or gym that suits you. The no-frills, garage gym suits me.

I think all the guys on the team got results because they enjoyed their chosen exercise. And I'm sure you'll agree, the results are fantastic. It's truly living the brand and I'm super proud of the team who – with vastly different body types, challenges and fitness goals – all came through with a smile (and a bit of flexing) at the final shoot.

What's the take-out? If we can do it, so can you.

* Credit and big thanks to James, Ross and all the boys at Roark Gyms. See you tomorrow.
** Thanks to Senior Editor Arthur Jones who co-ordinated it like a pro – look out for the full report back in the July issue.
*** Also thanks to Kathy McQuaide-Little and the team at the Sports Science Institute who made it all legit.

I don't apologise often, but when I do, it was because of a life-threatening situation. In the last week of the Men's Health Team Fit Challenge, I contracted a serious case of man flu (explained in the short doccie below). The pestilence struck around the time of my mother-in-law's 60th birthday – I'm squatting with the in-laws until my house is built – which meant that, in my weakened state, I was surrounded by all manner of glorious treats (if you've never been acquainted with Bryan Habana's Decadent Chocolate Cake, I suggest an urgent meeting, followed by a visit to your doctor and probably a few insulin shots).

Bottom-line: I was feeling bad about having to miss training and had a fat-kid relapse.

Pitching up at gym delirious with fever on Saturday for a last-gasp attempt at reaching my goal was also probably not the wisest move and from the way my chest feels today, tomorrow's 12 minute motion test at the assessment is probably gonna burn like syphilis (or so I'm told). But you know what? I'm gonna trust in my training and the respectable fitness base I've built in the last 3 months.

Yes, my topless portrait that will appear in the biggest men's mag in the country – and probably also be published online and used in marketing presentations – will have softer edges than I anticipated, but I hope our art department will work on that. And yes, -15kg is out of my reach now, but I can still count on big gains (or rather, losses) in my measurements.

Where I did have the biggest victory was proving that a man in my current situation could make massive improvements in his health and fitness with not really too much extra effort. So celebrate with me and my colleagues as we complete our life-changing challenge. My chosen beats for my victory lap? A little Limp Bizkit track... (check the end of this post, click play, turn up the volume and rock your face off!)

*Special Disclaimer* First off, I need to make clear that the title of this post is a reference to the Limp Bizkit song and not the Sinatra one. Secondly: I have made peace with the kakness of Limp Bizkit in relation to much of the music released at the turn of the millennium, but I'm also proud to have grown up in the 90s and to have rocked my face off to NuMetal when it was still a thing. Thirdly: My liking of Fred Durst's vocal stylings, however valid, does not represent the opinion of the Men's Health editorial team, and any objection should be raised with me in my personal capacity (please address your incendiary attack to my twitter account and we can have a good old flame war).

When we started this Men's Health Staff Challenge, each of us got to choose a) our goal and b) our method of achieving that goal. Everybody chose a) an achievable goal and b) a proper workout program with a proper personal trainer at a proper gym.

Everybody except me.

I chose a) to try to fit into smaller pants by b) doing workouts at home using rudimentary home workout equipment. I wanted a challenge. A challenge is what I got.

A big advantage - nay, THE big advantage - of hiring a personal trainer is that he (or, indeed, she) keeps you motivated and helps correct your form. If you're doing sit-ups and your legs are too flat, he'll tell you. If you're doing squats and one of your shoulders is dropping, he'll point it out. And even if your PT is asleep on the job or checking out the all-female yoga class across the way, at least if you're in a gym you'll have floor-to-ceiling mirrors which will help you monitor and adjust your own form.

My home gym - which, really, means my home - has no floor-to-ceiling mirrors.

(When I suggested having mirrors installed on the ceiling, my wife gave me a funny look, and a few hours later I found a divorce attorney's card placed strategically on the kitchen table. That was the last time we spoke of mirrors in our house.)

So when, for example, I use the Amazing Abs In 15 Minutes Core Slider Tool (pictured above, serving their secondary purpose as lounge-floor-lava-evading hovercrafts for my kids' plush toys) to do amazing ab-building push-up exercises, I'm pretty much on my own, with my ass in the air. Literally. Look, this tool is pretty incredible, and you get a great workout. But every exercise you do requires the push-up position (in the industry, we call it "The Plank"), and the push-up position requires a straight line from your shoulders to your ankles.

If your butt is too high, you're going to hurt your back. If your butt is too low, you're going to hurt your back. I hurt my back.

Then I paid closer attention to my form (this involved setting up strategically-placed mirrors, which then involved some serious explaining to my wife), and I started getting results.

What did I learn from all of this? Two things:
1. How to set up mirrors so that you can see your own ass from a variety of angles.
2. Form is important, and if you don't have a personal trainer or a Professional Butt Watcher, it's even more important.

Dearest Mark…

As the staff challenge nears conclusion I thought I would dedicate this post to you. I felt it would only be fair as you have been one of the main reasons that I have not neglected this challenge. If you had not crushed my spirit and tried to sabotage me with delicious chocolate ice things from Seattle Coffee Co, I would’ve just given up and accepted defeat but this challenge has changed me.

You see when you crushed my spirit you woke a part of me that I didn’t even know existed and I would like to thank you for this. While you were contemplating whether you should put your weird looking dumbbell to good use or play Fifa on your iPad, I was taking a beating. While you were chilling at home after a long days work I was giving blood and while you were dreaming of Kylie Minogue (yeah the secrets out), I was conquering mountains.

Next week when the other Men’s Health Titans run, the 2 of us will have our day and it wouldn’t matter how many times you lifted that doggy bone or how many beatings I took, all that will matter is the victory.

Sincerely
The Enforcer

Living a healthy lifestyle is easy when you work at Men’s Health.

You're not going to be scoffing muffins when your colleagues are snacking on trail mix, and you feel judged bringing your gatsby to a canteen table dominated by smoked chicken breasts.

But then I go home and all resistance crumbles.

Living with a wife and two kids means that I play dustbin after every meal, and whatever they don’t eat gets scraped down my gaping maw. And the reason why they can never finish their food is because they're so busy filling up on crap between meals.

My daughter is going through a serious sweet-tooth phase and so she’s always squirreling away a stash of sweet-treats. My wife is even worse, forever chomping pop-corn and crisps and wasabi covered peanuts, all of which have the nutritional value of what it's comes packaged in.

Now I’ve pleaded with both of them to stop bringing this type of thing into the house. Or to at least try and get better at hiding the stuff. But it’s no use. I always sniff it out. And once I've got it locked in my radar, I tell myself I won't, that'll I'll just say "NO", but I always end up getting caught in the pantry with a soup-spoon in the one hand and a transparent jar of Nutella in the other.

But at least I’m not as bad as some people out there.

Now I don't know how I found this blog, maybe it was while suffering the meat-sweats after overdosing on bacon and googling "can you eat too much bacon"? But it's beautiful and you must have a gander.

Featuring photos of over the top indulgent food, it's been described as “a place where dreams become heart attacks”.

And that is what will ultimately happen if you regularly partake in culinary frankensteins like a beer mug weaved out of bacon and filled with melted cheese...

Your heart is going to go postal and take the rest of you with it.

Food for thought.

My blog contributions have ended up being a lot like my approach to this challenge: I started relatively strong, then faded horribly, and now (with just a week to go) I'm desperately scrambling to get myself in gear.

To recap: my goal is to drop two pants sizes (and 35 is a size, so I'm really aiming to go from a loose-ish 36 to a strictly-ballroom 34); and my method is gumming at home. (SPOILER ALERT: It's been a flippin' nightmare.)

Over the course of the next few days, I'll do a slow reveal of my gym equipment.

Let's start with what I started with: a humble dumbbell.

(Yes, those are my kids' toys in the background. This might give you an idea of what the past two months of my life have been like...)

In 1995, my cousin Roy left home and went to England. (This was back when every just-out-of-school 18-year-old in my suburb was high-tailing it to the Yoo Kay in search of Better Opportunities… in other words: cleaning hotel toilets and working as undocumented farm labourers. It was a strange time to be alive).

Before he left, Roy cleaned out his room, and threw some of his old stuff. In among the shop-soiled magazines and unwashed T-shirts was a single 7.5kg dumbbell. I carried that dumbbell home, holding it with two scrawny hands, and it's followed me ever since.

It's part of the reason why my arms doubled in size between Standard Eight and Standard Ten (that, and the, like, five bowls of ProNutro I was eating every day). And it was the full extent of my home gym equipment range.

That range has expanded pretty spectacularly over the past two months. Stay tuned for the rest of my home gym arsenal…

It's almost over.

12 weeks of sweat, stiffness and sadism. We're being tested next week Tuesday at the Sports Science Institute, and it'll be a make or break affair. I've been watching my colleagues, the men on the right, change over the 12 weeks. There was stiffness, complaints and early-morning-training tired eyes in the beginning but it progressed into looser-fitting clothes, workout banter and walking with a confident strut in their step. They're healthier, slimmer and best of all they're happier. They're now athletes.

What makes an athlete? Just sticking to their program. Making the small sacrifices for the big gains. Working hard to become a better guy. That sounds familiar, right? That's because it's exactly what our mag is about, just constantly working on making ourselves better men. We're not doing it for medals or pay cheques, we're doing it to function and live better. We're doing to enjoy our sports and feel better about ourselves. Athletes aren't just men who are sponsored by German car brands and who advertise expensive timepieces, they're men like you, me and the nine other guys on the right. They make the choice to work on it, to improve themselves. It could be your squat one rep max, the number of pull-ups you can do or even your 10km time. Whatever it is, they've made the decision to be better.

Tuesday will reveal the extent of the changes that have taken place. Waists will have shunk, biceps and chests expanded, body-fat reduced and heart-rates brought down. They'll be stretchier. Lighter. And in some cases, they'll have added slabs of muscle. This science experiment will reveal just what exercise and nutrition can do to 10 average blokes. This blueprint will then come out in our July issue, and it will be a schematic that you can use to rebuild your own body. Consider it your chance to become an athlete.

If you want to see some athletes in action, the Crossfit African Regional Games (click for a video intro) are taking place in Cape Town this weekend, starting on Friday. The men and women that have made it through to these Regionals are true athletes, most of them have nine to five jobs but still put in the hours to become fitter, stronger and faster. I gave it my all to make it, but couldn't make the final 60. But next year, that's one of my goals. We'll be there to watch, and we'll be recording some of the action so that you can learn the inside training secrets.

The only thing left now is to ask, what is your challenge? And more importantly, when you do you start?

And to end off, an inspiring image with an attractive women. Just because it's raining outside doesn't mean training is cancelled.

Looking down is a scarily satisfying thing. Some of you may call it "looking back" and Oasis told us to not do it in anger, but I call it looking down because I believe that we constantly move onward and upward. And looking down scares the shit out of me.

It's mainly because I get to see the distance I've covered and then start charting the outcomes if I had chosen differently. And it's the what ifs and self-doubt that comes from identifying mistakes that scares me.

Two-and-a-half months ago I stared at a sheer cliff-face. The climb up was treacherous, but the view from the top was worth it. When I was done feasting upon the crisp air and breathtaking vistas of loose-fitting pants and T-shirts that actually cover my shrinking belly, I took some time to reflect on my journey thus far...

You see, many a porky hand has scaled the face of the fitness plateau. Some belong to strangers, and some to folks you know. Sunday roasts and triple-X coats get buried in the sand. The beautified trainers then shake the many hands.

But there's nothing on top but a lunge and a squat, and you may get a few more birds. Sweat a lot up there, but don't be scared, when you got abs you won't need words.

My protracted point is that a) I think Kurt Cobain did The Meat Puppets justice when he covered "The Plateau" for MTV Unplugged, and b) I've reached a plateau and am desperately trying to find a way to push through and lose those last few kilos in the two weeks before the challenge ends. The problem is that the final push involves upping the intensity and raising the risk of ballooning afterwards.

But I could've been further along if I had gone all in and not been mindful of what I was gonna do after the challenge. I'm building a house and don't have the spare cash around right now to pay for my training, and I don't have the time for it either. I'm also keen on eating bread again.

So a part of me is trying to push harder, but the more sensible part that knows there's gonna be a drop-off afterwards is kinda just coasting through, trying to make a lifestyle stick rather than spiking and regretting it later.

Many a hands began to scan around for the next plateau. Some say it was Crossfit, and some say Commando.

Others decided it was nowhere except for where they stood. But those were all just guesses, wouldn't help you if they could.

I think the next plateau for me is maintaining what I have right now and pushing further when circumstances allow. I've come a long way over this challenge and definitely feel happier with myself. Now for the last push, onwards and upwards.

Meanwhile, here's The Meat Puppets doing a live version of The Plateau – the song that inspired me this morning.

What drives you? Think hard about this for a few seconds. Seriously. Put some effort into it. Forget the stuff that is pumped through televisions, adverts and magazines – what is it that makes you push out the final rep, sweat through the last squat and drag through the 100m end on your run?

Is it to lose a few kilos? Sleep a little better? Make your ticker work a little easier? Win back your ex? Or are you trying to find that elusive sixpack? If you say yes to any of the above, I reckon you're doing it wrong. Seriously. Because if those are your motivations, you aren't actually going to enjoy your training, and it probably won't become a lifestyle change for you. Yes, I know that this sounds totally counter-productive (and against everything we tell you) but there's some method behind my madness. I don't think those are the right motivations, I think they're the positive side effects that come from having the right kind of motivation.

Think about this for a few minutes. Imagine you were motivated by the simple reason that you wanted to move again. I'm talking about becoming a more flexible, stronger and yes, slimmer, you. The guy you were five, ten or fifteen years ago. That guy was faster, stronger, healthier and most importantly, he was probably happier than you.

Time affects us all in the same way. That metabolism that used to torch pizzas, beers and chips slows down, you take longer to recover and your body isn't as flexible as it used to be.

But all is not lost. You can fix yourself. You start with your motivations. It's time to work towards becoming more like your younger self. Forget about the scale and waist circumference for a while, and focus on how your body is starting to work a little better. Your joints aren't protesting as much. You're running a little faster. Jumping a little higher. Hell, you're starting to feel like a kid again. At a scientific level, you're functioning more efficiently. Even though that sounds a little too technical, it's on the money. Functional training means you do what you normally do every day, but you do it better. You bend down to pick up your kid, run to meet the train, lift your suitcase into the car or hit the stairs at work. That's where I've noticed the greatest changes to my fitness, and it has been thanks to my Crossfit training, but I bet it's the same for the rest of the guys on this MHTeamFit staff challenge. Just like the guy in the pic below. His name is Derrick Hill, and he's just made it through to the Masters section of the Crossfit games. He's over 60 years old. Derrick shows all of us that it's never too late.

And in terms of the challenge, we only have two weeks left. It's now crunch time, and it's great to see the positive effects all the training has had on my colleagues. Ian ran a blistering 1:30:41 for his first half-marathon, missing a silver by less than a minute. Dylan moved like a butterfly and stung a like a bee in his white collar boxing match. He also now makes Mayweather look silly when it comes to skipping skills. Alistair has worked so hard with kettlebells that now he is basically Russian by adoption. And he's starting to look like a Spetnaz trooper. That's just to name a few, every single one of the guys on the right are looking leaner. And meaner. and most importantly, they're happier.

So here's a few vids to inspire you this afternoon. I have an advanced class with
Chris Oman in an hour, and even though my legs are so stiff they aren't bending anymore, I'm still keen to see what he has in store for us on the whiteboard. Yesterday I got my first proper muscle-up, which is where you pull yourself from a hanging position on the O-rings into a extended dip position overhead (check the example, it's hard to explain). And for more Crossfit news, the Crossfit Africa Regional Games are in two weeks time and it's happening in Cape Town. It is going to be incredible, and I'll be there to cheer the Cape Crossfit guys and girls on. Here some highlights from last year games.

And if that doesn't motivate you, watch this. Whatever you do this weekend, make it a small start to something big.