I have the standard hipster body: skinny arms, sunken chest, beer belly, woman’s hips… and today I pulled on a Speedo. Now if there’s anything more ridiculous than a grown man in skinny jeans it’s the type of grown man who usually wears skinny jeans, wearing a Speedo.
But every guy needs to start somewhere.
In the same way that I haven’t choked on AXE deodorant or been in close proximity to penises (peni?) that aren’t mine, it’s been a long time since I last wore a Speedo.
School was the last time that I was forced to endure such atrocities and likewise the last time that I committed myself to a regular fitness regime. Hell, it was literally part of the syllabus. But even after I stopped pulling on the black and white striped rugby jersey I didn’t let myself go. No, not yet. Not having to go to school meant that I could surf more, which I did, and work as a professional lifeguard, a vocation that pretty much comes standard with a sixpack.
But then I got my first office job and between the media launches, the canapés, the open bars and the four course lunches I’ve spent the last decade sitting in a chair.
Slowly the form in my shoulders, arms and chest has slipped down towards my seat, collecting around my waist in a puddle of what I’d imagine Drake is made out of.
Then one day my little girl got a thorn in her foot while playing in the park and I had to carry her back home. I made it a block before I told her that she’d have to limp it. She’s six.
And so I was obviously very keen to take up the #MHTeamFit challenge and transform my life. To be strong enough to carry my kids when they needed me, catch more waves when I was presented with the opportunity and look like a hardman instead of a doughboy.
So I’ve set myself a goal. Which is to be fit enough to fight in a white collar boxing match in a few weeks time.
So why the Speedo?
Well before I even think about boxing training I need to get my body used to the idea of training. Swimming is pretty low resistance and will work everything that I’ve got. 40 lengths in the gym pool sounds like a good start. I’ll let you know how it goes…